Ninja and Pirate

I like to think that the guy who invented chess was really bad at it and kept making up new rules as he went along to give himself an advantage. Like “Oh I didn’t tell you if a pawn moves to your side it turns into a queen? Oh I could’ve sworn I told you that.” “Yeah my king and my castle swapped. It’s called ‘castling’. Look it up. NO WAIT DON’T! I NEED TO WRITE IT DOWN FIRST!” “No! You touched that piece! That means you have to move it!” Then he got run out of town and fled to China where he was like “Hey have you guys heard of checkers? No? Well first you get…uh, MARBLES.”