The Krakaren is a woefully misunderstood beast. Thought at one time to be an apex predator, the Krakaren actually sends her husband The Lawyerviathan to do her bidding. In truth, his name is a bit of a misnomer as he is more closely related to the common Patent Clerk than the lawyer. Nonetheless, the two make a remarkable pair living in a classic co-dependent symbiotic relationship. The Krakaren is unique among most invertebrates, as she often goes searching for environments foreign to her, places where she does not belong, and attempts to reformat them to fit her desires. Yes, rather than change and adapt with her surroundings, the Krakaren refuses to update all elements of her biology and world view in favor of changing her environmental community to a level where she is finally comfortable. Of course, that comfort is often shortlived as at anytime an innocent Tautoga Onitis, common in her region, may swim within her field of vision, causing her to enter what scientists call an “HOA Rage”. Shrieking at over 150 decibels, the Krakaren will often frighten the porgy to retreat back to the safety of its home turf. It is unknown what exactly causes the Krakaren to enter this frenzied state, as many experts point out that the response is much different when encountered with a Jolthead porgy from the Gulf of Mexico. Rather than a shrieking scream, the Krakaren seems to bark at the Mexican porgy, much like she does with any other species considered ‘lower’ on the food chain. Though once thought to be highly intelligent, the Krakaren is in reality a dull, lonely specimen that seeks to make the rest of the marine population as miserable as she is. Truly the wonders of nature will never cease.
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